i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
