just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
