She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
