that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
