I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
