My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
only you would photoshop your dick
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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