After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
