chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
