Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
