Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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