ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
