Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
