you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
