it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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