i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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