Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
