Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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