we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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