Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
