WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
