I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My vagina just clenched in fear
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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