found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
