Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
