I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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