Please, let me fuck your mom
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
