Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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