I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
