Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
