another moral hangover. fuck.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
