Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
