so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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