my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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