While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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