pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
