Will you blow on my dice?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
