Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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