is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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