Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
