omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
