We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
