highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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