I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
