he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
