Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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