Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
