We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
