if i can run in heels then i can drive
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
