eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
