I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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