he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
